Thunderous rain... a calming effect

I have spent way to much time and energy pursing something that will never be mine. After speaking with a friend, I think I need to spend more time speaking of the more positive aspects of my life. I have used this time of unemployment as a chance to find my passions again. Those passions for learning, art, literature, music and everything that makes my soul whole again.

I have been exercising an hour to two a day, something I have greatly neglected in recent years; replaced with fast food indulgences, quick laugh track television, and meaningless meandering of night clubs and bars. This time around, I decided to not drink till my emotions subsided, but to embrace my anger, discouragement, and displeasure with my current situation both professionally, living arrangements, and my personal romantic en-devours or lack there of. I have found exercising has helped considerably not only with my physical appearance, but also with my mental stamina, learning ability, and overall  pleasure for everything the world has to offer.

Reading has taken place of mindless television where I have read several books, one turned out to be a poorly researched and ill witted self help book. I also read a squeal to the Wind in The Willows, a cute and well written children's book of great memories. Great Expectations and Wuthering Heights were also read as I have always loved classic English literature, as the phrasing and flow have always been paramount. I find many newer writings meander here and there, with little direction, or lack any sophistication in descriptives that I see in older style literature. A few science fiction writings, both classic and new, and some economics writings by authors of good repute.

I also have taken a liking to watching old interviews by William F Buckley Jr, who I think is one of the most profound orators I have ever heard. I remember as a child having a recording of him reading a book called The Temptation of Wilfred Malachy, and hearing his voice roll from one sentence to the next with great ability, and knowledge. To this day I think William F Buckley was one of the most literate people to have lived in recent times.

In the above video Buckley interviews Allen Ginsberg. He hosted a show called Firing Line for many years on PBS. I can only dream of being as well spoken and pronounced as Buckley.

Finally, I have been spending time on the piano writing songs. I have so far created a good basis for what oiginally was going to be a love song, but turned out to be more of a song of turmoil and despair. I have created a YouTube of the beginnings of it. Since then I have come a long way, and think it to be complete in the next week or so. I did get hung up on where to take it, after the divergence in mood, but I think that issue has been resolved. I had forgotten how much I loved playing my piano. One thing that I have found that I do often is play barefoot. I find that when using the pedals, I feel the vibrations of the instrument through my body, and helps me really feel the music much more.